Something I Hate To Admit.

I'm really not as strong as I say I am. I have this ridiculously tough outer shell sometimes, and it takes forever for someone to truly get inside my mind and soul. That my dear friend, is the challenge. Show me that you want to know me, the REAL me, not the tough girl act I put on. I secretly want you to break down my defense wall, and once that is done, it's the easiest thing in the world to put it back up! Trust is NOT something I give easily, but something I take away faster then a blink of an eye. And once my guard is down, I'm constantly on the look out for you to fuck up, and prove me right.

Never in my life have I allowed someone to be rude to me, nasty. or disrespectful. It's just something I do not, and will not tolerate. On the contrary, even if I despise you, I will always treat you with the up most respect because you are a human being, a gentle soul. And is that aspect I'm starting to realize that i let people walk all over me. Not something I am very happy about.

I am an emotional person. I get mad easily, and have recently realized I suffer from displacement, which is NOT a good thing. I'm always hurting or disappointing the people whom I love and cherish the most. It seems like all I can do, is wrong...

I don't please anyone, and the one person whom I've loved like I never loved before makes me feel amazing.. all the time. But I feel like I'm always coming up short when it comes to him, I want to do so much more, if I can make him feel an eighth of what he makes me feel then my mission has succeeded. I feel like he deserves so much more then i can give, and i love you babe. -31808- forever.

It's something I hate to admit, but I'm not who you think I am...